A Christmas Carol: Bebop Style
by Randall Flagg2000
Summary: COMPLETED AT LAST! PLEASE READ! Anywho, read the story if you want the summary. It's funny as hell though.
1. Default Chapter

Summary: The bebop are getting into the holiday season. Well, everybody except for Spike who is getting selfish with the bounties. When Spike refuses to share their first big bounty, will the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future change him? Anime crossover time! Read and find out!  
  
WARNING!! MUST BE READ BEFORE YOU READ THIS!!!  
  
I know it's a bit early for Christmas, but I couldn't resist. This is my first humor story and there will be characters from different animes. Thanks for any reviews and enjoy the holidays when they come. I do not own Cowboy Bebop, any other anime that appears in here or "A Christmas Carol".  
  
-Randall Flagg2  
  
Note: The characters will retain their original names, but they shall have different roles. Also, the bebop will also play the role of the Cratchit family without bearing the name. Therefore I have just assigned them to "roles" instead of the actual characters, although I will try to keep close to the book. This applies to other characters as well. So Spike, being the Scrooge like character, will kind of be in the mood of Scrooge but will retain his name. Some characters might be a bit OOC, so be warned.  
  
The bebop crew: As themselves. (They shall ever so slightly play the role of the Cratchit family as well as Scrooge at the same time).  
  
Tiny Tim Role: Ein  
  
Charity woman: Botan.  
  
Charity man: Kenshin Himura.  
  
Role of Spike's younger sister: Sasami.  
  
Fezziwig Role: Katsushito Masaki.  
  
Spike's former lover: Julia.  
  
Fence (That means somebody who pays you for stolen goods): Ryoko.  
  
Thief 1: Kurama.  
  
Thief 2: Hiei.  
  
Thief 3: Hiten.  
  
Jacob Marley Role: Kagato  
  
Ghost of Christmas Past: Aoshi Shinomori. (Why? Aoshi's cool, that's why! Sheesh!)  
  
Ghost of Christmas Present: Kagome Higurashi.  
  
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Vicious  
  
Let us begin, shall we?  
  
Spike Spiegal cursed under his breath. The day had been bad, and it was about to get worse. First he had to go to earth of all places to capture a new bounty, then he had gotten the shit kicked out of him by that same bounty, and then when he had finally caught the guy and turned him in to the authorities he had almost crashed the Swordfish II on his way back. One might think that things couldn't get any worse, but he knew they would. Oh, how he knew they would. How did he know it was going to get worse you might ask? He knew it would be crazy when he got back to the bebop because they had finally managed to catch a ten thousand woolong bounty. Oh sure, it would put them out of financial debt for awhile, but that wasn't what was on Spike's mind. What was on Spike's mind right now was how they would split up the bounty now that they had collected. Ten million woolongs was a heck of a lot of money, and Spike had a gut feeling that things would be pretty crazy when he got back. Up in the distance, the familiar shape of the not so good ship bebop hung in outer space. Spike flew into the hangar and parked the ship that he kicked so many times. "Here goes nothing." he muttered as he stepped into the hallway that he had stayed on for so long.  
  
The interior of the bebop was not as it usually was decorated. It was now decorated in holly which was laced with a few berries every now and again. Spike muttered something under his breath and flopped onto the couch with a cigarette. The nicotine filled stick eased his mind and reassured him that things would be alright. He almost forgot about the fight that would inevitably happen soon as the smoke entered his system. With the money they had gotten, they could patch up the bebop and get some food to eat. Spike longed for a piece of meat. If he had to live off of bell peppers and beef (without the beef of course) for much longer, he would go crazy. How long had it been since he had had meat? A month? A year? God may know, Spike did not. He just laid back and let the cigarette take him into his own world when something jumped into the air and landed on him.  
  
"HIIII!!!" Squealed the voice of Ed as she bounced up and down on Spike's chest. "Merry Chirstmas Spike person!" she giggled. As Spike bucked up and down under Ed's bounces, he noticed that Ed was wearing a red santa clause hat on her head, covering up her poofy hair. Spike sighed. He hated this time of year. Ever since Ed had brought up the subject of Christmas a month ago before December, everybody except for Spike had been preparing for the holiday. Jet had stopped tending to his bonsai trees and had bought a Christmas tree for the bebop. He had also found some old ornaments up in the attic, near where the refrigerator that had caused them so many problems had been (Toys in the Attic episode). Ed had downloaded some Christmas tunes for them to listen to and had played them nonstop. Even Ein and Faye seemed to be in the mood. Faye had quit worrying about herself and had bought all sorts of holly with some bounty money and had decorated the bebop walls. Ein's contribution to them was to stop chewing up things and not bark so much, even if he had to. He even wore a wreathe of holly on his head. It wasn't much, but what else could a corgi do? Spike really hated this time of year. Everybody but him had focused on being in Spirit for Christmas instead of focusing on more important matters, like fixing the ship or getting more food. What did this holiday mean to them anyway? All they did was celebrate the birth of the son of god and exchange gifts with others. It seemed pointless to him. What they saw in it, he did not know.  
  
"What do you want?" Spike grunted, gently pushing the teenage girl off of his stomach.  
  
"Edward just wants to wish Spikey a holly jolly Christmas!" she giggled.  
  
"Well could you wish it to me some other time?" Spike growled. "I'm trying to sleep."  
  
Ed frowned. "Spike person should not be naughty. Santa is watching Spike person." Spike could not believe those words. Ed still believed in that story? How childish could she get?  
  
"Santa doesn't know jack shit." he grunted and turned on his side, only to be turned around by Ed.  
  
"Spike person shouldn't say such things! Santa will not give him any gifts!"  
  
"Oooh, I'm sooo scared!" Spike said sarcastically, pretending to tremble. Realizing that she would not get through to him, Ed pouted and stormed out of the room and into the kitchen. She sat down at the table and sulked. Jet, who was busily cooking the usual meal went over to the hacker girl.  
  
"Hey Ed, what's wrong?" the ex-cop asked.  
  
"Spike person was mean to Ed!" she grumbled.  
  
"What did he do this time?"  
  
"He just mean." Ed sighed, and laid her head down on the table. "Why is Spike person so mean at Christmas?"  
  
"I don't know. I'll talk to him." Jet said, and left the room. Ed continued to sulk until she felt a cold, soft something rub against her ankle. She looked down to see a certain welsh corgi looking up at her with a look that was begging her not to be sad. Ein was getting a bit skinny since they had not had much to eat lately, but he was alright for the time being. Ed quickly snapped back to the bubbly attitude she normally had and grabbed him up. Ein wheezed as Ed hugged him with the force of a boa constrictor squeezing its prey.  
  
"Hi Ein! Edward wishes Ein a merry Christmas!" she crowed as she hugged Ein almost to death. He quickly regretted getting near the playful girl and began to squirm out of her grasp.  
  
In the living room, Spike was dozing off when the cybernetic hand of Jet Black fell on his shoulder. Spike was turned around to look into the face of the man who bore an expression of annoyance on his face.  
  
"Why did you have to do that Spike?" he asked, irritably.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"You hurt Ed's feelings Spike." the bulky man replied. "She was sulking in the kitchen over something you did to her. What did you do?"  
  
Spike laid back down on the couch, the cigarette jammed securely in his mouth. "I didn't do anything. She was being annoying and I told her to leave me alone."  
  
"I think it would take her a lot more then that to hurt her feelings like that Spike."  
  
"Fine then." Spike sighed. "She was bouncing on my chest and screaming merry Christmas into my face. You think that wouldn't annoy me?"  
  
"Nevertheless, you shouldn't have done whatever you did to her." Jet muttered. Spike bolted upright and stood face to face with his teammate.  
  
"I didn't do anything damn it!" Spike snarled. "She was annoying me while I was relaxing, so I told her to leave! Is there anything wrong with that?!" Jet sighed and walked out of the room, realizing it was pointless to try to talk to Spike like this. Spike didn't get it. So he had told Ed to leave him alone. What was so bad about that? Okay, sure, he had been a bit sarcastic with her, but he was in no mood to be disturbed. He was more concerned over the bounty and what they should do with it. He knew what he wanted to use it for before he had found the bounty. With the money, they could fix the bebop up and get more food. He had no intention of dividing it up this time. It was selfish of him, but it was better then splitting it up. Faye would probably use it to by stuff from those old magazines she read and more devices to rip off people, and Jet would most likely put it to some other use before focusing on the Ship's condition and leave them low in the woolong department. By keeping the bounty for himself this time, Spike could insure that everything would be kosher with repairs and food. He laid back down to try to rest once again when a third annoyance drifted down the corner.  
  
"Well, well, if it isn't the lunkhead." Faye Valentine muttered. Spike grunted and shot a look at the queen of the shrews. Faye was not dressed in that usual banana colored clothing she always wore. She was dressed in something similar to the skimpy outfit, but it was red and green. Spike groaned. Red and green, the colors of Christmas. If Ed's suggestion could snag Faye, who knew what could happen.  
  
"Hello slutface." Spike grunted, puffing on the last bit of his cigarette. "Cheat anybody lately?"  
  
"Oh shut up Spike. You really shouldn't be so bitter during this time of year. It's Christmas."  
  
"You're one to talk." the green haired bounty hunter retorted. "You're normally the bitchiest thing a guy can run into." Spike suddenly shot upright and began to massage his leg where the bitch god had booted him.  
  
"So what if I am? Even I have a cheerful side Spike. I bet even you do." she growled. Faye walked out of the room, deciding to leave Spike alone with his own bitterness. As she left, there was a knock at the hangar door. Spike threw out his cigarette and went to answer the door. In the doorway stood a man with long red hair and light blue eyes. He was wearing rather old fashioned clothing which seemed to be from the 1800's. To his left was a woman in a pink kimono with blue hair that was tied in a ponytail and what looked like the most cheerful expression Spike had ever seen on a living face.  
  
"Hello!" said the woman in the kimono. "My name is Botan and this is my friend and partner Kenshin Himura! Might we make a small request?" she asked in a voice that was so bubbly that Spike thought it could rival Ed's cheer.  
  
"What kind of request?"  
  
"Well, it's the holiday season and we're collecting for the poor, that we are." Kenshin said. We were wondering if you would like to make a small dona-"  
  
BANG!! Spike instinctively raised his gun up to the ceiling and fired a single shot. The man and woman ran off so fast that Spike could have sworn that they were leaving after images. Oh well, they needed to be frightened off. If he had said no, they would have tried to persuade him to give up some money, and he was willing to bet his soul that he would have relented in the end. And anyway, it wasn't like he had shot anybody. He had just driven them off, that was all. He walked away, only to be confronted by an angry looking Jet.  
  
"What the hell did you do?!" he roared. "Are you crazy Spike?! You shouldn't have done that!" he scolded.  
  
"What? They would have tried to take some of the bounty for their own purposes!"  
  
"Well it's Christmas Spike! I don't like them much either, but I was willing to make a few sacrifices at this time of year! You're supposed to stop caring about yourself at this time of year and worry about others for a change!"  
  
"I guess you don't want a share of the bounty then. I wasn't planning to give any of it to you of Faye for good reason and I guess it was the right thing to do." Spike said, walking off to his room.  
  
"What do you mean?" Jet asked, curious about Spike's words.  
  
"I mean that this time I'm keeping the bounty for myself this time so I can put it to good use. You guys will probably blow it on Christmas stuff when we should really use it for fixing the ship." he said.  
  
"That can wait until the next bounty! The money we got this time could help make this season better!" Jet said in an almost pleading tone.  
  
"Your one to talk Jet. And what if we don't catch the next bounty? What then, huh Jet? We'll be with out a ship and without food!" Spike growled, and walked off to his room to sleep. Jet was disappointed by Spike's words, but decided that it wasn't worth wrecking Christmas over. After all, he tomorrow was Christmas day and that would no doubt change Spike's attitude. Jet walked off back to the kitchen and resumed cooking. Needless to say, his partner did not show up for dinner.  
  
Later on in the evening, Spike tossed and turned in his bed. No matter what he did, he couldn't get comfortable. After trying every single position that a human being could possibly sleep in, Spike just splayed out his arms and legs and stared up at the ceiling. It was getting very cold. Spike shivered. Hadn't Jet or Faye turned on the heat? No, that was wrong. It probably was turned on. The other possibility was that Ed was crawling around in the ducts again. Spike climbed out of bed, still dressed only in his boxer shorts and undershirt, and opened up the duct. He jumped up a bit to look in it and amazingly saw no traces of the crazy hacker in it. He was puzzled. If the heat was on and Ed was not playing around, what could make his room become so cold? The bounty hunter climbed down and wrapped himself up in the sheets and blankets. Still the temperature plunged until Spike could see his breath. Then, very distantly, he could hear the sound of chains rattling.  
  
"What the hell?" he murmured. Spike laid back down and then jumped as the piercing howl of a certain data dog filled the hallway, causing him to jump. He sat up just in time to see something transparent and shimmering levitate into his room. At first it was ill defined in the dim light. Then Spike's eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw that the shape was the form of a tall man with white hair and a pair of old fashioned spectacles on his nose. His expression was calm and cocky looking. He wore white clothes and white gloves. However the strangest thing was that this figure was bound all over with chains from the ankles up. Spike felt his neck hair prickle as he realized that the person in front of him was a ghost!  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Spike asked, shakily.  
  
"My name is Kagato. I have come to warn you Spike Spiegal." the ghost said in a slightly British tone.  
  
"Warn me of what? And how do you know my name?"  
  
"Never mind your name, I have come to warn you to change your ways and to change them soon. If you do not, you will end up as I did!" Kagato exclaimed. His voice was loud enough to hear down the hall and Ein gave another howl. The howl of the corgi turned into a yelp of pain as Faye's foot slammed into him with an audible *WHUMP!*.  
  
"You don't mean share the bounty with the rest of them! If I do that it will all be wasted." Spike snarled at the ghost. Kagato conjured and energy blade in his hand and pointed it at Spike's throat.  
  
"Listen to me and listen well. Your greed is what I must warn you of. Greed is what earned me these chains. In life I traveled the universe, selfishly seeking the ultimate energy, and now I must wander the universe for eternity and see what I could have done with my life instead of searching for power! I sinned in greed, as you are doing right now! Unless you change your ways, you will end up as I did! Do you not know how long your chain is?" Spike was suddenly hurled to the ground as what seemed to be fifty pounds of chains crushed him.  
  
"I don't believe you! You must be some hologram that Ed made to scare me!" he said. Kagato snarled in frustration and sliced Spike's bed in half. That was all it took to convince him that he was a real as real could get. The chains vanished and Spike got up nervously.  
  
"If you wish to avoid the fate that I fell to, you must be haunted by three more apparitions. The first shall come at one in the morning. The second shall come at noon, and the final spirit will come at midnight. Heed their lessons well Spike!" Kagato said, and flew through the wall. Spike looked out the window and watched as it flew off into deep space, only to see it crash into a satellite and be carried off into a black hole. "OH SHIT!!" Spike heard the ghost roar before it was sucked in, satellite and all.  
  
Spike was puzzled. If this was the result of to many cigarettes, then he would gladly give up. That vision was creepier then anything he had seen. Nah, he couldn't have seen that. He must have been hallucinating or dreaming. "I didn't see that." he said. Spike took the blankets from his sliced up bed and lay down on the floor. He was about to try to sleep again when he got up and turned on the lights to his room. It was childish, but something told him that what he saw was no hallucination. Finally, he loaded his pistol and bundled up with it in his hands like a stuffed toy. At last, he fell asleep.  
  
That's it for now. Next up, the ghost of Christmas past comes for Spike. Now review please. Randall Flagg2 


	2. chapter two

Alrighty, second chapter up. Aoshi Shinomori will be the ghost of Christmas past and Spike gets a look at his childhood. The Julia/Spike relationship has been changed to suit the story I am mocking as has Spike as a kid. Not a tear jerker! Oh yeah, here's some thanks for your reviews:  
  
Elf-Vulcan: Yeah, the scene with Kagato was in good humor. I don't know where I came up with that idea. My mind goes kind of crazy in the night.  
  
meheeners: Christmas is my favorite holiday too! Thanks for the review. Cool that your birthday is 14 days before Christmas. Hope you like this chapter.  
  
Read on.  
  
Spike sat up with a start. What had happened since he had fallen asleep? He could only vaguely remember somebody telling him something about being less greedy and then he had fallen asleep. That was all he could recall. He was aware of one thing however. The lights in his room were on and he was clutching his gun to his chest protectively. Had it been a dream? He was sure of it. There were no such things as ghosts. "Me believing in ghosts." Spike mumbled bitterly. "What a load of bull." He turned out the light and was just about to fall asleep when he became aware of another figure in the room with him. The man was tall and wore a white trench coat. His hair was short and gray black colored and his face was stern and cold. In his hands he held a pair of kodachi blades. An aura of light covered his body, giving him an almost angelic appearance. "Oh man, it wasn't a dream." Spike groaned.  
  
"Hello Spike. My name is Aoshi Shinomori. I am the ghost of Christmas past." the ghost said in a cold voice.  
  
"Mine I bet."  
  
"Yes, you are correct. I am going to show you your childhood and how different you were before you became a bounty hunter." he said.  
  
"I hated my childhood!"  
  
"Tough beans. Now let's go." Aoshi sliced his blades into the wall of Spike's room and tore the wall away. Amazingly, nothing got sucked out despite being in deep space. Spike had to admit that he was amazed. Aoshi stepped towards where the wall once was and beckoned Spike to come.  
  
"I can't go out there! I'm not dressed and I can't fly like you can!" Aoshi darted at Spike and grabbed him by the wrist. He began to fly off into space. Spike struggled and kicked at the ghost, but Aoshi was incredibly strong. After a short while they stopped. Aoshi took his kodachis again and swung them in a circle. A hole appeared, which he took Spike into. Now they were in a city with people hustling and bustling to get to places. Spike finally wrenched free of his captor's grasp and went flying back into a garbage can. Strangely, he went through it instead of stopping when he slammed into it.  
  
"Why didn't it spill?" he asked his companion.  
  
"You went through it because these are just shadows of things that have been. They are not aware of us and they cannot feel us. Do you remember this place?" Aoshi asked. Spike frowned a little. This was where he had grown up. Why, of all places did he have to come back here?  
  
"Yeah I know where we are: My home." he growled. Aoshi nodded and smirked. He led Spike down towards an apartment and went inside. They stopped in front of an elevator. Aoshi pressed the button and waited. (He probably doesn't know how it works being from meji era Japan, but let's say he did).  
  
"You're a ghost for God's sake! Can't you just fly me up like you did in space?"  
  
"Just because I'm a ghost doesn't mean I can fly everywhere." Aoshi scowled. After what seemed like eternity, the elevator arrived and the two of them got in. Aoshi pressed the button with the number nine on it and the machine began its ascent. Halfway through, the elevator jammed. Aoshi pressed the buttons more but nothing happened. Getting angry, Aoshi cut open a hole in the elevator ceiling and climbed out, closely followed by Spike. Just as they got out, the elevator went plummeting to the ground seven floors below and exploded. Aoshi and Spike clambered up the cables that had once held the elevator up and busted down the door to floor nine.  
  
"I thought you said the past couldn't be affected by us!" Spike said indignantly.  
  
Aoshi rolled his eyes. "I lied a bit, okay?" he muttered. They went down the hall and stopped at a room at the end of the hallway. Aoshi walked through the closed door and pulled Spike with him.  
  
The room inside wasn't decorated that much, but it was decorated enough to be just right for the holidays. There was a Christmas tree with a few ornaments on it and some candles lit around the room, but nothing else of interest. In the kitchen, a teenage boy was talking to a little girl with blue hair that was tied in pigtails. The boy seemed to be very happy. Spike gasped.  
  
"That's me when I was kid! And that girl is my little sister Sasami!" he exclaimed. Aoshi beckoned for him to come into the kitchen to hear the conversation between him and his sister.  
  
"Are you serious?" the young Spike Spiegal asked. "Dad is really coming to visit?"  
  
"Yes he is! He's become a lot nicer over the past few months and I think he really has had a change of heart Spike! He really did say that he would visit us." Sasami said with a giggle. Spike watched his younger self hug his younger sister and sob with happiness.  
  
"The old man never was around for me that much." the real Spike muttered. "I guess that's why I never liked this time of year when I was a kid."  
  
"Your sister died quite young. It really is a shame."  
  
"Yeah, don't remind me."  
  
"I do not have much time left Spike. We must go see another Christmas." Aoshi said. He sliced open a wall and jumped out of it with Spike in tow. They landed near a large building.  
  
"Do you remember this place?" Aoshi asked.  
  
"Duh! This is where I worked before I became a bounty hunter!" Spike said and went inside. The building interior looked like a warehouse of some sort. Boxes and crates were strewn all around the room and dust was everywhere. Sitting at a small desk was a tall, elderly man with gray hair and glasses. In front of him stood a boy with green hair and another boy with brown hair.  
  
"Katsushito Masaki? Is that really you?" Spike said, forgetting that what he was seeing was just shadows of the past and not actual things.  
  
The old man looked at the boys and said "Well guys, it's Christmas and we must prepare for the party that we planned today, so clean up this place!" the old man commanded. Without a moment's hesitation, past Spike and the other boy were sweeping the floors, packing away boxes, and doing just about anything that involved cleaning. Spike watched them clean with rapidly increasing boredom. He wished that he could see whatever the spirit wanted to show him so he could leave.  
  
"How much longer will this take?" Spike asked with a yawn. Aoshi did not reply. Spike turned to see the ghost sitting in an armchair which had somehow materialized without him noticing it. Aoshi was eating a bag of popcorn and a pepsi. "This isn't good." Spike muttered. After two hours, his past self and the other apprentice finished cleaning. Spike sighed with relief, but then groaned when they began to decorate the room again. He looked Aoshi and reached for a handful of the popcorn that was in the ghost's lap, but jerked back when Aoshi snarled at him and chopped at him with his swords.  
  
"Well excuse me!" Spike snorted. Aoshi grunted and took another swig of pepsi. After another two hours, the entire room was decorated with everything that could be even slightly related to Christmas.  
  
"Excellent work!" Katsushito exclaimed. Soon enough, guests began to arrive. Spike watched as everybody took part in the festivities. The memory left a warm feeling in him that he had not had in so long. Well, except when he was drunk. People were dancing to all sorts of Christmas songs and others were talking at the food tables, stuffing their faces with ham and punch. Then Spike saw something out of the corner of his eye: A beautiful young woman who was looking for somebody to dance with.  
  
"Julia!" he whispered.  
  
Aoshi smirked. "You remember her?"  
  
"Yes, yes I do!"  
  
"You must also remember how much joy it gave you when she asked to dance with you." Spike ignored the ghost and watched his younger self dance with his lost love. Then, as quickly as they appeared, the guests and the food vanished into thin air. Spike gasped.  
  
"What happened? They're all gone!"  
  
"This was just a vision you know. It was such a small thing to bring these fools so much joy." At that Spike whirled around and seized the ghost by his coat.  
  
"Small?! I'll have you know that this was a large contribution and it was anything but small!" he snarled. Aoshi smirked again. He swung his kodachis and they were in another shadow of the past. Now Spike could see himself at the age of what looked like 18 speaking to Julia. She did not look happy.  
  
"Are you sure this is what you want out of life Spike? Is money all that matters to you?" Julia asked.  
  
"Well I have to make a living somehow Julia! I can't live in poverty." the past Spike exclaimed.  
  
"I have watched you change over time Spike. I have watched you change for the worse and focus only on collecting bounties until nothing matters to you but money."  
  
"True, I have grown much wiser!" The present Spike could not believe that he had said those words. Maybe if he had not been so greedy, things would have turned out different. Oh what a mistake he had made!  
  
"If that is how you feel, then I will leave you. Goodbye Spike Spiegal! May you be happy in the life you have chosen!" Julia cried and walked off. Spike turned to Aoshi.  
  
"Take me back home! I can't take this anymore!" he begged. Aoshi smirked again.  
  
"One shadow more." he said. Before he could react, Spike grabbed the man's swords and swung them at him. He missed his intended target, but ended up creating another dimensional hole. Spike dove through it and wound up back in the bebop. He panted like a tired dog. He now had officially lost any hope that this was just a dream. Now what would happen? Spike threw himself under the covers on the floor and fell asleep. Maybe when he woke up, things would be better.  
  
Part three is to come soon! Bye! Thanks for the reviews! 


	3. chapter three

More praise for your reviews:  
  
Elf-Vulcan: Don't ask where the popcorn and Pepsi idea came from! My mind just wanders and it goes into places you wouldn't normally expect. Thanks for the review!  
  
Io, Jupiter's Firey Moon: Glad that it cheered you up. Hope your stomach is better! Enjoy this chapter.  
  
Light-of-halo: You like Faye's outfit? Thanks! I got the idea from an M&M's commercial. I hope you've read the rest of the story!  
  
On with part three!  
  
Spike awoke with a start. He had the vaguest sensation that it was earlier then it was when he fell asleep, but didn't know how that could be. Spike looked at his clock and saw it was noon. How could that be? It was only a few minutes past seven when he had fallen asleep! He couldn't have slept in that long! So what had happened? Spike inhaled the air and caught whiff of something. His mouth began to water. The smell was that of roast turkey! Spike jumped out of bed and ran down the hallway, intent on finding the source of the smell and eating it. When he made it to the living room, a teenage girl in a skirt with long black hair was sitting on a mound of food. She wore a holly wreathe in her hair and had carried an old bow and arrow in her hands. On her back was a quiver with arrows in it.  
  
"Hi there. My name is Kagome Higurashi. I'm the ghost of Christmas present. You must be Spike Spiegal." the girld said. Spike was happy to meet a girl that wasn't crazy like Ed and not a bitchy slut like Faye, but he was still a bit annoyed since now he would have to deal with the present now. Rather then replying to the ghost, he reached for the food but his hand went right through it. Kagome giggled at the cowboy.  
  
"Sorry, but that's just for show." she said. Spike moaned.  
  
"But the smell-!" he began.  
  
"That's the problem with illusory food. It's not real, but it smells real." she said. The food vanished. The girl got up and walked over to Spike. "Touch my bow." she said. Spike obeyed and the room flashed. Spike looked at a nearby clock and saw it now read seven p.m. He watched as Ein and Ed ran by. Ed managed to tackle the corgi and began to tickle him wildly. Ein licked Ed's face affectionately and scrabbled in the air with his paws. From the kitchen came the familiar smell of bell peppers and beef. Kagome walked into the kitchen and loaded an arrow into her bow. She shot it into the pan that Jet was using to cook the bell peppers in. Strangely, an aura surrounded the arrow as if she had fired a laser beam from her bow instead of an arrow. The pan simmered and Jet began to hum "Jingle Bell Rock" under his breath as he cooked.  
  
"What was that?" Spike asked the girl.  
  
"It's a sacred arrow. It has Christmas spirit in it and gives off love and goodness to any meal, as long as it's kindly given." she replied. "It's kind of ironic that I'm giving it to you guys, seeing as you can get pretty selfish when it comes to food."  
  
"Keep your comments to yourself." Spike muttered, lighting up a cigarette. Kagome grabbed it and crushed it in her hands. Spike's jaw dropped open.  
  
"That was the last one I had!" he snarled. Kagome chuckled.  
  
"Sorry, but I can't work in a smoke filled environment. Now let's see how dinner is going." she said. She led Spike into the kitchen where Jet, Ed, Faye and Ein were sitting down to what appeared to be Christmas dinner. It was such a meager meal. Just the usual bell peppers and beef with some rice on the side. Ein, as usual was eating a bowl of dog food. Spike was a bit shocked to see the crew saying grace, something which surely had never been done, but what really baffled him was that he himself was nowhere to be seen. He turned to the ghost.  
  
"Where am I? The only time I missed out on dinner was last night."  
  
The girl glared at him slightly. "You went out to hunt for another bounty. I don't know how you live with yourself Spike. Going bounty hunting on Christmas day instead of spending time with your friends! Hmph! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" Kagome huffed. Spike did feel a bit bad at what she had said, but was not concerned. They needed the money anyway. He turned back to the dinner table and listened to the conversation.  
  
"I have to admit Ed, this Christmas idea of yours was a pretty good idea." Faye said. How long had it been since Faye had thanked Ed for something? A month? A year? How long?  
  
"Edward is happy that Faye Faye enjoys Edwards idea!" Ed giggled, digging into her peppers.  
  
"Still, it is a shame that Spike isn't here." Jet sighed. Ein looked up from his food bowl and gave Jet a look that seemed to say "Do I really care about him?" and went back to eating.  
  
"Aw, who cares about Spike?!" Faye grunted. "I'm just glad to be enjoying myself for once."  
  
"Well still, he could have joined us. I mean even bounties should come second to being together at this time." Jet said.  
  
"Edward is just happy to have Christmas!" Ed squealed and grabbed Ein up in a tight hug. The corgi wheezed and struggled to free himself. Spike noticed for the first time just how thin Ein was looking. Ein was not as plump as he normally was, and if you looked closely you could just barely see one or two of his ribs.  
  
"What's with Ein?"  
  
"He's thin because you guys can't afford much food and when you do get the good food you never give it to him. Not a single bit."  
  
"Why should I? He's just a dog." Spike snorted. Kagome glared daggers at the man and slipped a necklace with purple beads on it around his neck.  
  
"SIT!!" she commanded. Spike was hurled into the ground.  
  
"What the hell was that for?!" he growled, picking himself up.  
  
"For being mean, now listen to me." she half hissed. Kagome fired an arrow into the wall and a scene appeared before the two of them. In it was a food bowl, but it was old and musty looking. From the looks of it, nobody had eaten out of it for quite awhile.  
  
"What does this mean?" Spike asked.  
  
"This is Ein's food bowl. It's old because nobody has used for a long time. Unless this is altered by the future, he will die."  
  
"YES!!" Spike crowed. He was promptly "sat" again by the ghost of Christmas present.  
  
"Don't be a jerk, alright?" Kagome asked as politely as she could. Spike ignored her and began to walk away. Kagome had finally had enough of the pissy bounty hunter and lost control of herself.  
  
"SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT!!!" she bellowed. Spike slammed into the ground six times and on the sixth "sit" he went flying through the floor and landed in a barrel which had been positioned under a leaky pipe. Spike climbed out, thoroughly soaked. He looked up and the enraged spirit.  
  
"Well I guess I couldn't teach you anything, but if I can't then the next ghost will!" Kagome called down. She jumped down and "sat" Spike one last time for good luck and took the necklace off of him. She walked off into the darkness.  
  
Some time later, Spike woke up. He still hurt from the sitting, but he could still move thankfully. He looked up in search of the ghost, meaning to throttle the girl for doing such a thing to him but saw her not. Instead he found himself looking up at a clock which surely had never been there before. The clock struck twelve. Spike remembered Kagato's words and looked to his side in time to see a tall figure in a black robe gliding towards him.  
  
This chapter was a bit short, but it's tough for me to come up with ideas for the present. And yes I know those prayer beads only work on Inuyasha, but this is a parody, so bear with me please. Hope you like it so far. Next comes my favorite of the three spirits! Cyao!! 


	4. final chapter

Even more praise for your reviews:  
  
Life is but a Dream2000: I'm glad you like the story. I agree with you, Aoshi rules. See you again!  
  
Elf-Vulcan: I wouldn't say Spike is that hard a case, but he is definitely hard nonetheless. You want the ghost of Christmas yet to come? Here it is! Enjoy!  
  
Hiei'sFireyGurl52890: Glad you like it! Here comes the end part of it. Thanks for your praise.  
  
On with the ghost of Christmas yet to come! Thanks for all your reviews nice people. Oh yes, one more thing. This chapter, being set in the future, will be a bit more of a drama then a comedy and Spike will be out of character near the very end, so be warned. Bye! -Randall Flagg2  
  
The hooded figure approached Spike, slowly, silently, not uttering so much as a whisper. Although he was not one who was easily intimidated, Spike felt a twinge of fear as the ghost came towards him. He could see none of its features, save for an outstretched hand which held a scabbard with a katana in it. At last, the ghost stopped in front of him.  
  
"Are you the ghost of Christmas yet to come?" Spike asked. The ghost said nothing.  
  
"I said are you the ghost of Christmas yet to come?" he asked again. This time the specter reached up and pulled back its hood to reveal its face. Spike expected to see a skull or nothing at all, but instead it was the face of a man with a hateful, cold expression on his face with long white hair.  
  
"Vicious!" Spike hissed, pulling out his gun. He fired a shot directly at his rival's head, only to have it pass through him with no ill effect. Vicious smirked.  
  
"Come. I have much to show you." he said in that cold voice that never failed to annoy Spike. He was a bit reluctant to be following the one person he would like to see hung from a tree, but something told him that it would be for the better. Spike swallowed his pride and went down the hallway of the bebop with his old rival. They stepped into a dark corridor and came out in a prison. In the various cells were many of the bounties that they had caught over time.  
  
"Why are we here?"  
  
"Just listen." Vicious grunted. One of the inmates spoke up.  
  
"I don't know anything about it. All I know is that he's as dead as a doornail."  
  
"When did he kick the bucket?" another asked.  
  
"Last night I think. It's kind of hard for me to believe though. You might think a guy like him would never die."  
  
"Well good riddance to him I say. That'll teach him to kick the shit out of me like he did!" This was followed by joyous, sadistic laughter.  
  
"So what are you saying Vicious? What do these people have to do with my future?" Vicious said nothing. The red dragon operative only pointed onwards with his katana and led Spike out of the prison and into a dark alley where three people were gathered. One was a handsome boy of about fifteen with long red hair and green eyes. The other was short with red eyes and spiky black hair. The last one wore some crazily outdated clothing and had long hair tied in a long braid. He carried a long spear in the shape of a lightening bolt. At the center was a beautiful woman with long, thick cyan colored hair.  
  
"So what do you have boys?" the woman asked.  
  
"A fair deal Miss Ryoko. This one definitely had a lot on him." said the one with the braided hair.  
  
"Well, show me what you have and I'll give you what its worth." Ryoko said. The boy with the red hair stepped up and produced his plunder. He gave to the woman a few ties, some shoes and a pistol. Ryoko tallied up the money on a pocket notebook and handed sixty woolongs to the boy.  
  
"You never do get much, do you Kurama? A bit ironic for one who was once the most feared thief of them all." the short one said sarcastically. The red haired boy narrowed his eyes slightly.  
  
"Well if you're so confident in your amount Hiei, why don't you go next?" Kurama asked. Hiei boldly stepped forward and showed what he had collected. Some bed sheets, a box of bullets, and a large mirror. Ryoko added up the sum and handed him what appeared to be one hundred and fifteen woolongs..  
  
"Not a bad score Hiei, not a bad score. And you Hiten?"  
  
Hiten hefted a sack off of his shoulder and revealed its contents. The bag contained a bunch of suits and shirts, some of them still a bit damp with what seemed like sweat.  
  
"Well? Is it sufficient?" Hiten asked. Ryoko grinned.  
  
"You don't mean you undressed him and took of his clothes when he was dead, do you?" she asked, shelling out a very large sum of money to Hiten. The man smiled.  
  
"Yes I did. It's not like anybody could care about one like him." he said. The thieves broke out into hearty laughter. Spike was repulsed.  
  
"This is disgusting. What are you trying to tell me with this image?" Spike asked. Vicious said nothing. He unsheathed his katana and swept it through the air. Now they were inside of a dark room with very little light and dust seemed to almost perforate the room. Spike sneezed. Vicious pointed towards a bed where the shape of a body was, its form covered up by a bed sheet making it look amorphous in the dim light.  
  
"What do you want this time?"  
  
"Take off the sheet." Vicious growled. "I want you to see what's under there." Spike did not move an inch. He wanted to see who or what was underneath the sheet, but his fear was holding him back. Vicious continued to point. "Take it off I said." the white haired man hissed.  
  
"I- I can't. I don't know why, but I can't." Spike said. "Show me something else. Show me some tenderness connected with a death." Vicious pointed with his Katana and led Spike into the shadows again. Soon enough they were in the familiar corridors of the bebop. It was the same as always, but there was the slight feeling of sadness in the air. Spike saw Ed walked by and felt a little it worried. Yes it was Ed alright, but something was different about her. She wasn't yelling and giggling as she always was. She was actually walking without swinging her arms and legs in pendulum like motions and she seemed to be very depressed. Vicious smirked again.  
  
"Are you alright Ed?" came the voice of Jet from the other room.  
  
"I'm alright." Ed replied, her voice lacking any happiness at all. Spike could not believe it. She had talked normally! He had waited so long to hear that, but for some reason he felt a bit sad. For Ed to talk normally, something must have happened. Nothing good he imagined, from her tone of voice. And where was he himself? Was he out hunting for a bounty again? He had no clue. Vicious led him into the kitchen where Spike watched the scene unfold.  
  
"You don't sound alright." Faye said.  
  
Ed sighed. "No, I'm not alright. I just miss him, that's all." she said. From inside the kitchen, Jet rubbed Ed's back.  
  
"You'll get over it. He's in a better place now." Jet said. Spike didn't understand what they were talking about, but he had a gut feeling that he did know at the same time. Ed walked out of the room, sniffling slightly. Spike turned to Jet and Faye who were now having a discussion of their own.  
  
"Do you really think she'll get over it?" Faye asked.  
  
Jet sat back in his chair. "To be honest, I think she'll get better but I don't think she'll fully recover. She loved him to death you know." he sighed. "Maybe if we had gotten more food he would have made it."  
  
"Well at least he didn't suffer." replied the shrew. Spike surveyed the room and saw a food bowl in the corner of the room. It was dusty and had cobwebs on it. He realized at once what had happened.  
  
"You mean Ein died?" he asked his mortal enemy. Vicious nodded. They went down a hallway and as Spike passed Ed's room, he could hear muffled sobs. He looked in to see the poor hacker girl weeping into her pillow, her sobs muffled by the cloth. He had never seen Ed cry like this before. She was doing it quietly, soundlessly which was somehow frightening to him. Vicious spoke up.  
  
"Now do you see the cost of your greediness? You took most of the good food and Ein died from malnutrition. And now Ed is heartbroken all because of your selfishness. Do you still enjoy it?" he asked. Spike was too shocked to reply. Had he really hurt Ed this badly? Yes, he did hate Ein, but now he wished the damn dog had lived. If he could have such an influence on Ed and the others, he should have every right to live. Spike sighed and as he went down the hallway with Vicious, he could have sworn that one single tear escaped his eye. He shook his head and went after his enemy. When Vicious opened the door at the end of the hall, they were in an old graveyard.  
  
"Why are we here?" Spike asked. Vicious pointed downwards towards an isolated grave.  
  
"Look at this. This is the last of the images I can show you." the ghost Vicious said.  
  
"Before I look, tell me one thing. Are these things that will be in the future, or are they shadows of things that only might be?" (A/N Yes, I know Spike dies in the end of the series, but bear with me please.)  
  
"Just look!" Vicious snarled. "I don't have time for your rambling, now look." Spike approached the grave. And read his own name on the stone. He was now officially freaked out.  
  
"I'm the guy on the bed?" he half screamed. Vicious grinned. Spike fell to his knees and began to beg. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he was. "No, no, don't let it be!! I'll change!! I promise I will! Don't let me die!" Spike pleaded, already humiliated enough for begging like a dog to his rival. Vicious continued to grin.  
  
"Maybe I will, if you beg enough." he said.  
  
"Please alter my future! I can't die like this! I will honor the lessons taught to me in my heart and I won't shut out the lessons the spirits taught me! Alter it!" Spike screamed up at the ghost. Vicious drove his sword into the ground and created a large fissure in the ground. Spike screamed like a banshee as he fell through it. Just as he blacked out, he screamed out one last time to have his future altered.  
  
Spike jerked awake in his bed. He had made it! He was alive! The shadows of the things that would have been may be dispelled. He knew they would be. He was safe! Spike looked at his clock and saw it was eleven fifteen. "They did it all in a few hours! I'm free!" he shrieked. Wait a moment. It was still Christmas eve! The stores were still open. "I might as well go get them some things before they wake up." he thought to himself. He dashed to the room where they kept the collected bounty money, gathered it up, and dashed to the Swordfish II. He sped off for mars which was conveniently only a half hour away.  
  
When Spike made it to mars, he was lucky. The stores were still open and people were still doing some last minute shopping. He went into the grocery store first and gathered as much food as he could, including what to him looked like the biggest, fattest turkey he had ever seen in his life! Then he went into the mall and picked out a few presents for the crew. On the way out, Spike ran into the two charity people he had met earlier.  
  
"Oh hello sir would you li- AAHH!!" Botan screamed.  
  
"She recognizes me." Spike thought. The girl tried to flee, but Spike jumped in front of her. Before she or her partner could say anything, he spoke up. "I just want to say I'm sorry for yesterday and I'd like to donate after all." Spike handed them a shopping bag with a thousand woolongs in it.  
  
"Are you serious?" Kenshin asked.  
  
"Yep." Spike replied.  
  
"Thanks a lot sir! The poor thank you as well!" Botan chirped. Spike waved goodbye and headed out and flew back to the bebop. He managed to get the gifts under the tree before the rest of them woke up, wrapped and labled.  
  
Next morning.  
  
As always, Ed was the first person to wake up. She yawned and stretched, clad in a red nightgown which had not been washed in who knows how long. She jumped out of bed, threw on her clothes faster than a runaway train and skipped down the hallway, scooping up Ein as she went along towards the downstairs. Just as she reached the stairs, she stopped. "Edward has forgotten to wake the others!" she gasped and dashed back to wake up the others. Soon enough, everybody was awake courtesy of a hyperactive teenager. When they got downstairs, they got the surprise of their lives.  
  
"Where did the gifts come from?" Faye said in awe. Even Ein seemed to be in shock. The corgi's eyes were wide and his jaw had dropped low enough to touch the ground. Spike stepped in front of them.  
  
"I got them." he said, triumphantly. Everybody's jaws dropped open. Faye walked up and put her hand on Spike's forehead.  
  
"Are you okay lunkhead? Maybe you should get more sleep." she said. Spike only smiled.  
  
"Merry Christmas." he whispered. Faye stared at him for a moment, and then fainted. When she recovered, they went to opening the gifts, expecting them to bombs or spring loaded pies or something. Spike never acted like this.  
  
Jet got a book called "1001 ways to grow Bonsai Trees."  
  
Faye got a bunch of clothes that she had been ogling in her magazines. They were of course, slutty.  
  
Ed got some new goggles and some computer games.  
  
Ein got a pair of large, juicy steaks.  
  
Everybody was amazed by the sudden change in Spike. Later on, even went back on his vow not to share the bounty and split it up between his comrades. And of course, everybody enjoyed Christmas dinner. They were quite surprised to see such a huge turkey on their table, but they were definitely not going to complain or ask questions. They were hungry and it had been forever since they had had meat. Even Ein got a bit of turkey to go with his steaks.  
  
That day was a Christmas to remember. It seemed that Spike had turned over a new leaf. Unfortunately, New Years eve came soon and after a heaping round of booze, pretzels, and cigarettes, Spike reverted back to his old bitter self. Oh well.  
  
Somewhere, in the other world.  
  
"So how did it go?" Aoshi asked as Vicious stepped into the room.  
  
"It went well." he replied.  
  
"Did you get anything on your cloak camera?" Kagome asked. Vicious smirked and produced a small video cassette from his cloak. He went to a VCR and stuck it in. The ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future sat down and watched the scene of Spike begging in his terror. Soon enough, every one of them, even Vicious, was laughing uncontrollably and gasping for breath.  
  
THE END  
  
Thanks for the reviews! I hope you liked it! Enjoy the holidays when they come! -Randall Flagg2 


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